mike - of course, i'm sure that lots of us have male, gay friends who use the word. but gay dudes using "fag" is like african americans using the N word with each oter. co-optation of a slur, when you aren't part of the slurred group is weird territory. and, i don't think that was the original use here, or in most cases when men get into pissing contests with one another over who is more macho.
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gimme a break. fag is a term of insult historically and currently, unless you are a brit and talking about cigarettes, and you know it. seriously, either own up to being a jek (fine) or let it the fuck go already.