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Thread: Hell

  1. #1
    IVARTON's Avatar

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    Default Hell

    Long but amusing

    Hell

    The following is supposedly an actual question given
    on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The
    answer by one student was so "profound" that the
    professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet,
    which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of
    enjoying it as well.

    Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
    (absorbs heat)?

    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
    using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats
    when it is compressed) or some variant.

    One student, however, wrote the following:

    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is
    changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which
    souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they
    are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that
    once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
    Therefore, no souls are leaving.

    As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at
    the different Religions that exist in the world today.
    Most of these religions state that if you are not a
    member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since
    there is more than one of these religions and since
    people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
    project that all souls go to Hell.

    With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect
    the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
    Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in
    Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and
    pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
    proportionately as souls are added.

    This gives two possibilities:

    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate
    at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and
    pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks
    loose.

    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
    increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and
    pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

    So which is it?

    If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
    during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day
    in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account
    the fact that I slept with her last night, then number
    2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is
    exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary
    of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
    follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
    extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine
    being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

    THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

  2. #2
    goad74's Avatar

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  3. #3
    rAttBastid's Avatar

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    Default


  4. #4

    Default

    Whether it's authentic or not I really don't care. It's still funny!!!

  5. #5
    IVARTON's Avatar

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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by hipatitis
    Whether it's authentic or not I really don't care. It's still funny!!!
    Yep



    Jason just likes to play Scully and debunk stuff

  6. #6
    JohnnyThief's Avatar

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    Default



    He's no Gillian,...

  7. #7
    withremote's Avatar

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    that brightened my evening.

  8. #8
    Premium Member
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by JohnnyThief


    He's no Gillian,...

    I
    L O V E
    HER

  9. #9
    loco's Avatar

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    Hell is for children

    -loco

  10. #10

    Default

    I read that in 'Omni' ary years ago, back when they published good stories in it....

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