the everything but nothing in particular suggestion box

[THE PiNCH]

Genuine ideas preferred - funny stuff unavoidable - real solutions sought

lets see if any of these issues get fixed...

I'll kick off -



Dear Google...

when I type in a searchword or phrase with quirky or unusual spelling and you ask me "did you mean..." followed by a plausible and undeniably more popular search option - how about you include a link that says "I meant precisely what I damn well typed" ?

I'm getting rather annoyed that I have to wade through links that have only one thing remotely in common with what I'm looking for - that thing being a number of letters in the the same order...

Excuse my harsh tone, your intention I presume is to be helpful, but I actually think its ludicrous that you are second guessing the entire web-using population!

Lots of love, Pinchy x

Oh and stop profiling me and mucking about with china



your go

[THE PiNCH]

Dear Mozilla,

can I have a seperate volume control for each Firefox browsing tab? thereby being able to listen to my choice of music without being bombarded with shitty flash app noises/jingles


word

P

[steve w]

dear pinch,
please stop whining.
xxoo,
steve w

[THE PiNCH]

heyyyy... 1 (justifiable) whine every 6 months ain't bad

here's a suggestion for youz guyz

Dear Screwball Press,

why not use lemon juice to clean your windows? the high acidity levels will cut through your greasy paw prints in no time and the panes will retain a sharp and unpleasant taste that should help your proprieter curb his tendancy to lick them!

cheap and non toxic too!

yours in harmless jest

Pinch x

[scrojo]

spencer's been poking around in mummy's medicine cabinet again.

[steve w]

his hormones are running amok

[Unitus]

Dear Pinch,

If these are the problems in your life, therefore making your gripes justifiable, please consider yourself blessed and stop your inane whining.

Love, Unitus

[steve w]

he'll get bigger problems when his pubic hair starts to grow

[THE PiNCH]

Steve : I have plucked some proof of my transition through adolescence and mailed it to Chicago for your leisurely inspection.

Lonny : I am indeed blessed (I opted against a giant banana pic), but I am equally cursed. I have cripplingly bad internet charisma and ought to quit when just slightly behind re these forums, but simply refuse to!
However I'm quite used to the snub, the burn and the 'give him enough rope' thread techniques and have thickened my skin somewhat in the past year or so.
So.... at the ever high risk of sounding like a smartass I'd like to point out that this is the "everything but nothing in particular suggestion box" thread - intended to couple expressions of discontent (complaints) with propositions for improvement (solutions).

I'm afraid this means that whilst potentially offensive to you, these complaints are sensical and convey ideas - so not in the least bit inane.

P.S. your colouring book monster was my favourite page - would you like to be friends?

Mum : Scrojo is fibbing, pay no heed