TOMMY LEE CAME TO MY HIGH SCHOOL TO GET A STUPID SHIRT THAT I DREW FOR HIM.

This has nothing to do with anything. But I still think it is a great story that gets better all of the time. Back in my on the cusp of getting into punk rock tenth grade high school days in Southern California at Simi Valley High, I was your typical basic loner nerd who didn’t have a lot of friends. I liked rock music, though. That was my only link to anybody else. And there was a heavy metal tree in the school by the quad. All of the school’s "rockers" would congregate & do whatever it was you were supposed to do. Yet at the tree I soon found myself banished from it because I told people that I didn’t think the then newest Iron Maiden album was very good. But I did like the debut self –released album by Motley Crue. Maybe somebody would like me then.
It took me a little while to warm up to "Too Fast For Love", great Vince Neil crotch cover & all. I thought it was kind of like a cross between Sweet & Aerosmith. But it grew on me. Suddenly, the Motley Crue record was one kick ass serving of hot wax! & at the time, I had just started playing drums, or attempting to. Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee was obviously pretty darn good. Still is. At the same time, being into "rock & roll" as well as being a nerd, there was a local Simi Valley radio station that operated out of some guy’s garage in his house. I somehow befriended some of the people who worked there. I can’t even remember any names, but bunch of burnouts that I thought were incredibly old -so in truth, most of them were probably twenty-five years old or something. You know. Ancient. There was this one deejay their that I knew that had the classic shag haircut with a moustache look down pat. & of course we wore low cut tight jeans & said "Man" a whole lot. He knew & partied with the Crue. He is good buds with Tommy Lee. He is coming to Simi Valley tomorrow. Would I like to come by & meet him?
"S..sh..sure.", I stammered.
The next day after school, I rode by ten speed bike down to the radio station (built into someone’s garage) & walked up to the garage. Inside was my deejay friend. & right next to him, kicking back in a cool rocker outfit along with mirrored shades (sitting in the dark, too.), was Tommy Lee. "Wow!" I thought..
"Hey Tommy, this is my pal Brian. He is the guy who drew all of that stuff for the station."
"OH! Coool, man! So. You are the kid that draws, right?"
"The kid that draws". Man! Did I like the sound of that! Yeah! That’s it! I am "the kid who draws!!"
I don’t remember what kind of dorky small talk that we made but I asked him to sign one of my sneakers which he did) & then before I was getting ready to leave, he asked me a question:
"Hey man. If I give you a t-shirt, will you draw a picture of us (Motley Crue, not us three) on it?"
I couldn’t believe it.
"Sure, man."
"I’ll come to your high school tomorrow & get it if you bring it, man!"
"You..you’re going to come to my high school to get it?"
"Yeah. What time is lunchtime and shit?"
Lunchtime at Simi Valley High was twelve thirty or something.
"Cool. I’ll be there. Man, I really appreciate it!"
He didn’t seem like he was being insincere. He really wanted that shirt. So I rode home excitingly with some old t-shirt that he pulled out of his car to work on my "masterpiece". With permanent ink marker & a stretch board, I feverishly worked hard on the Motley Crue shirt. I really wanted to impress him. I don’t remember what it looked like, but I think it came out okay.
At the beginning of lunchtime the next day, I was talking to a couple guys at the Metal tree about what had happened to me yesterday, & what was supposed to happen today. Of course, no one believed me. But why would I lie about something like this? What was there to gain? I had already committed the ultimate sin of not liking the latest Iron Maiden record very much. What was I trying to pull? Suddenly, someone at the tree shouted, "Look!" & pointed off across the quad. I turned & looked & saw Tommy Lee. He was strolling through the campus with his jet black dyed hair & sleeveless D.O.A. t-shirt. He swaggered for all it was worth. & right next to him was my deejay friend-with no shirt on. He was swaggering, too.
They swaggered up to the tree when I waved to them. A strange kind of hush descended over the tree.
"Hey, Tommy." (I was trying to play it cool and not act interested in seeing him. Sort of.)
"Hey Man!"
I handed the golden prize to him. "Here you go."
He held it up & looked at it approvingly. "Wow! Thanks! Man, this looks cool!"
There was maybe three minutes of small talk that followed. He signed a few autographs for some of the metal tree people, & then swaggered away, out of the quad area. It was cool. For maybe five minutes, I was the "big man on campus". I felt good. I had followed through on my promise, Tommy followed through on his promise, & everyone was happy. Maybe some girls will talk to me (nope). Who knows what will happen after the whole world finds out that I know Tommy Lee. It wasn’t over just this yet. When school let out, I crossed the parking lot for the walk home. Who was hanging out outside of my high school, leaning up against his car & blasting the Scorpions at the same time? You guessed it, Tommy & my deejay friend. They were checking out high school girls. I walked over to them. They were still cool; I started to ask Tommy a few "drummer questions". Well, what else was I going to do?
"How long have you been playing drums, Tommy?"
Leaning against the car chewing gum (& wearing those mirrored shades), he turned to me & made a hand gesture showing what was meant to be a certain height, which came up to where his belt buckle was. "Man, I have been playing drums since I was THIS high!"
Suddenly, a classmate of mine (a pretty girl) walked by.
"Hi, Brian."
Tommy lowered his shades & gawked at her like nobody’s business. He had this sneer on his face. I forgot exactly what he said next, but I distinctively remember the words, "press" and "pussy" being involved.
Being the virgin geek prude I was, I embarrassingly excused myself from the upcoming change of conversation, said goodbye to Tommy & my deejay pal (who still wasn’t wearing a shirt), & went home.
I saw Tommy one more time a few months later. He was back in Simi to sign autographs at a local record store. Their album was re-released on Elektra records. They were going big time. He was extremely friendly, & signed a promotional front cover cardboard cut out of the album with the phrase, "To Brian. A cool guy & a great artist. Tommy Lee"

I wonder if Tommy still has that shirt from back then? Somehow, I doubt it. But it would be really neat if he did.




Speaking of t-shirts, here is my newest one of the Toronto band FUCKED UP paying a sincere tribute to the Beach Boys. It is groovy, and here is the link:

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thanks kids..I hope you enjoyed my ancient brush with fame.