1. I thought it was Rob's birthday, and when I went to confirm on the GP calendar, he was not listed. But SgtMILF was, so I decided to celebrate his birth instead.
2. I secretly thought that perhaps it really was Rob's birthday and he was just hiding the fact, so I cleverly inserted an absurd Rob reference into the SgtMILF thread hoping to smoke him out. SUCCESS!
3. Of course Rob is not SgtMILF. That would be absurd!
Conclusion: I win
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